Agnarr (I already labeled a post that, didn't I?)
I don't know. Things are being annoying lately. I had a birthday recently. Last Thursday it would be, and in two says I'll have been 17 for a whole week. Why am I posting this? Because I'm bored and never talk to Rebekah on msn anymore because the internet is out (fucking telus), or people are on the computer, or Rebekah is in bed and asleep. It's annoying.
You know what else is annoying? The fact that I don't know who knows I'm gay. Ever since I found out Darcy knows I've been really paranoid (I wonder how many people are reading this and didn't know beforehand) of all these tiny comments that most likely don't mean anything but my mind is interpreting them as implications or inuendos and it's fugging pissing me off. Jesus Christ people, can't you just stop saying things that could be interpreted as a homosexual reference? You're really fucking confusing me and making me more paranoid than I used to be. Bloody Fascists.
I really do wonder who comes and reads this, if there is anybody other than just Rebekah and sometimes Kiora. Because if it's just them then I shouldn't wonder who's reading this and has thus discovered more about me than they expected. But at the same point I don't know, and for some reason feel perfectly free to sit here and type I'M GAY in big pink letters. Poor Kolyn and his rediculous sense of digital security. Maybe it's just that I want people to know but am too much of a coward to actually say it to their faces (this is true, in all absolution[is absolution a different word than i mean? yes, let's make is absolutivity]). Alright, well I suppose I should go to sleep so I don't sleep in tomorrow.
You know what else is annoying? The fact that I don't know who knows I'm gay. Ever since I found out Darcy knows I've been really paranoid (I wonder how many people are reading this and didn't know beforehand) of all these tiny comments that most likely don't mean anything but my mind is interpreting them as implications or inuendos and it's fugging pissing me off. Jesus Christ people, can't you just stop saying things that could be interpreted as a homosexual reference? You're really fucking confusing me and making me more paranoid than I used to be. Bloody Fascists.
I really do wonder who comes and reads this, if there is anybody other than just Rebekah and sometimes Kiora. Because if it's just them then I shouldn't wonder who's reading this and has thus discovered more about me than they expected. But at the same point I don't know, and for some reason feel perfectly free to sit here and type I'M GAY in big pink letters. Poor Kolyn and his rediculous sense of digital security. Maybe it's just that I want people to know but am too much of a coward to actually say it to their faces (this is true, in all absolution[is absolution a different word than i mean? yes, let's make is absolutivity]). Alright, well I suppose I should go to sleep so I don't sleep in tomorrow.
4 Comments:
hi! i'm blog surfing... i think u're courageous to come out and just say it!!!(pink letters are really cute, by the way)... :-)
I miss talking to you on msn too. Just remember though, any time you need to talk, there is e-mail, there is talking in person, there is skipping school (admitable, i will only skip during your science class...)
If you're really paranoid, everything that people say will reflect back and make you think of it suspeciously. just a thought. Also, you do know that once anything is posted on el internet, it's not a secret anymore. you have no idea who will find it.
I think Kaarina deserves to hear it from you, and I think you should tell her before a friend of hers tells her. She has enough of them in the school... But again, it's your call. Besides, now I really want to see her reaction, and I think she would feel better knowing you want her to know and you telling her.
Random people are watching you. Be careful.
Tell not to be so paranoid, life is an okay place. but on the other hand, I do understand.
Haha.... paranoia XD Btw, I'm not Keilah, nor Kiora. I sure hope you've figured out who I am tho. o_o If you haven't, you should ask around, and then I'll lie and say that it's not me, ahahahahahhah.
You have a weird Telus connection. That is all I will say on that topic.
Who's Darcy? =P In any case, being paranoid isn't that good...but then, I suppose it really matters to you how someone might view you after they find out you ARE gay. -_-;;;;
(@_@;;; Did I just give myself away by saying "Keilah" instead of "Rebekah"?? XD)
You should make your "I'M GAY in BIGGER pink letters. XD I mean, if you're going to type it here anyway, might as well.
And also, I don't think one little rant like this justifies any future changing of the site name to whatever it was that you thought it should be changed to. I forget. Only proves it's too long to be of any use. ahahhahahahah....
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