Never
I never post anything here. I know there's a grand total of one person who actually reads this ever. Actually, that's not true, but I know there's only one person I am assured will read anything on here. I can assume at least two others will see it eventually. But it just seems to pointless to post anything here. Anything in my life that would go up here can just as easily be relayed to those three people via e-mail or msn, so what's the point.
I seem to only post here when I'm randomly venting. Or when I'm tremendously bored and need something to do. You can tell which posts are which. The former are longer, featuring several long paragraphs that seem to flow into each other. The latter are usually just a single paragraph where I say nothing. Not that the venting posts have any real content either, but at least they pretend.
Okay, I'm going to post actual stuff now. I want to tell my mum. Not a new development, no, but it somehow feels more important now. Because more and more people know, like Stogran. Is it at all apropriate that my humanities teacher know when my mother does not? And why do some of my friends know, but not others. I've known Abbey and Heitzmann longer than Krystine or Darcy. Why should B know when A doesn't? It's really the last hurdle, telling my mum, because after that I'll be fine. Once she knows it won't matter anymore and I'll be free to be me and have people shout slurs at me. But I'll be fine then, because I'll be being myself, and I won't feel reservations about ranting at people when they say things that offend me. And it seems so easy to tell her, it's just two (when contracted) words. Why are those two littles words so hard to say?
FIVE FUCKING LETTERS. Five letters, an apostrophe, and a period. 7 characters. I'm gay. It's so simple, and yet so hard. I have to tell her, but which way? Two words, or one letter?
I seem to only post here when I'm randomly venting. Or when I'm tremendously bored and need something to do. You can tell which posts are which. The former are longer, featuring several long paragraphs that seem to flow into each other. The latter are usually just a single paragraph where I say nothing. Not that the venting posts have any real content either, but at least they pretend.
Okay, I'm going to post actual stuff now. I want to tell my mum. Not a new development, no, but it somehow feels more important now. Because more and more people know, like Stogran. Is it at all apropriate that my humanities teacher know when my mother does not? And why do some of my friends know, but not others. I've known Abbey and Heitzmann longer than Krystine or Darcy. Why should B know when A doesn't? It's really the last hurdle, telling my mum, because after that I'll be fine. Once she knows it won't matter anymore and I'll be free to be me and have people shout slurs at me. But I'll be fine then, because I'll be being myself, and I won't feel reservations about ranting at people when they say things that offend me. And it seems so easy to tell her, it's just two (when contracted) words. Why are those two littles words so hard to say?
FIVE FUCKING LETTERS. Five letters, an apostrophe, and a period. 7 characters. I'm gay. It's so simple, and yet so hard. I have to tell her, but which way? Two words, or one letter?
2 Comments:
*hug* well, you could play the random character game and spread it out to her over the course of the week, one character at a time. and see if she guesses before the end. You could hire some incredibly cute guy to come hang out with you/make out with you in the basement and have her "accidentally" walk in. but I think there are better ways. I know it's hard, and it's scary for you, and it's scary for me as well, but I think you can do this, I KNOW you can do this, and I know you will. *hug*
E-mail is nice...
*blinks* You know, if it were me, I would just sit her down and TRY to tell her directly. It's not easy saying it directly, I know... =X But I still think it's the best way. So yeah... I guess... I support the "two words" thing...? Less confusion that way, anyway... =X
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