So close
Today is April 24. The cut-off date is May 9. That means there are 15 days left. Why, at half a month until the year, is that bastard dwelling in my thoughts so much? It's been 11 and a half months, and lately it's been coming up more and more. And I wrote those lyrics to try and cope with it, and they helped, but not enough. Then there was the dream two nights ago, that goddamn dream. And it's all like the dream, back in the fall when he was trying to talk to me, and again recently he tried. He won't stop. It feels just like the dream, I keep trying to ignore him, shouting and yelling to get him away, get him out of my head. But he won't go, won't let me have my peace. I just want that bastard to stop haunting me. Let me be. Let me escape.
Burn in hell, Porter. Burn. In. Hell.
Burn in hell, Porter. Burn. In. Hell.
2 Comments:
Theres probably some deep psychological reason why you can't get him out of your head. Maybe. Possibly the way your brain has stored and remembered traumatic memories so they are improperly stored and thusly are recalled with certain emotions attached to them since they went into storage with the emotions attached and unprocessed. Which means you need time and also have to go through your memories and reprocess them, and likely you have to forgive him before you'll ever be left in peace from him.
hah, maybe that's what I should do when i grow up...
*hugs kolyn breck* I'm here. To talk, to listen, to hold your hand, hell, you can cry on my shoulder if you really want to, although that doesn't strike me as something you'd do. But really, I'm here.
And maybe, it's a combination of getting closer to the day itself, because you can think almost a year, almost a year and so it's in your mind, and a combination of his repeated attempts to contact you. And I'm here. Talk WHENEVER you need to. understand me? *hugs again*
Now go do your homework... and memorise your monologues, you have eight days.
=P Sorry, Kolyn, but I'm going to have to agree with Keilah on this one... probably the best way to deal with it IS to forgive him... and we all know how much you want to do that. =_=;;;
And yes, you thinking about it being almost a year definitely has an effect on what you think about, specifically things that have a lot to do with this so-called anniversary. Keilah's pretty much right on with the whole psychology thing, I think. XD
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