Ninth
May 9th has come and gone. Not uneventfully, but that's not for discussion here. However, there were no Kevin related things. I didn't talk about him, or the fact it was the cut-off date that entire day. I can't say I didn't think about it, but most of the thoughts were constrained to "No, I'm not talking about that today." And that was that. So, all in all, I think it was a successful anniversary of that event.
Something did happen last week, which I meant to post and then was all like "Agh, I'm lazy and have no time to do anything" which is a lie, but it did prevent me from posting this on Wednesday (when it happened) or Thursday etc. Anyway. Keilah and I had left drama festival and were waiting for the train at University Station. And there are these two other people there, a guy and a girl. And they randomly started talking to us, asking us questions, y'know "What school do you go to?" and the like. Then of course, the innevitable. I had my arm around Keilah's shoulder, so naturally...
"How long have you two been going out?" to which our response was
"We're not" but of course
"You guys are going out, right?"
"No"
"How long?"
"We're not going out" so the girl says to the guy
"Maybe they're seeing each other" so he says
"Are you seeing each other?"
"No"
"How many belts does she own?"
"I don't know"
"How long have you known each other?"
"Three years"
"How long have you been going out?"
"We're not"
"Why not?" and then I just go and say it
"Because I'm gay."
And there's a pause, the girl looks at the guy. She says, very quietly.
"I feel like an ass"
and then I add
"Among other reasons"
"You think she's fat, don't you?" she says
"Because she's not" he says.
. . .
It was all rather sudden. I said it out loud. I said it out loud. To somebody who didn't already know. Sure, I've confirmed when people have asked in person if I'm gay (why do I always want to type "if I was gay"? this puzzles me) but that's with a nod, or the word yes. And yet there, there on the train platform "I'm gay". I fucking said it, and I didn't think about it until afterwards. And I remember saying to Keilah that evening before I got off the train. "I really want a rainbow flag patch now." (to put on my bag)
Something did happen last week, which I meant to post and then was all like "Agh, I'm lazy and have no time to do anything" which is a lie, but it did prevent me from posting this on Wednesday (when it happened) or Thursday etc. Anyway. Keilah and I had left drama festival and were waiting for the train at University Station. And there are these two other people there, a guy and a girl. And they randomly started talking to us, asking us questions, y'know "What school do you go to?" and the like. Then of course, the innevitable. I had my arm around Keilah's shoulder, so naturally...
"How long have you two been going out?" to which our response was
"We're not" but of course
"You guys are going out, right?"
"No"
"How long?"
"We're not going out" so the girl says to the guy
"Maybe they're seeing each other" so he says
"Are you seeing each other?"
"No"
"How many belts does she own?"
"I don't know"
"How long have you known each other?"
"Three years"
"How long have you been going out?"
"We're not"
"Why not?" and then I just go and say it
"Because I'm gay."
And there's a pause, the girl looks at the guy. She says, very quietly.
"I feel like an ass"
and then I add
"Among other reasons"
"You think she's fat, don't you?" she says
"Because she's not" he says.
. . .
It was all rather sudden. I said it out loud. I said it out loud. To somebody who didn't already know. Sure, I've confirmed when people have asked in person if I'm gay (why do I always want to type "if I was gay"? this puzzles me) but that's with a nod, or the word yes. And yet there, there on the train platform "I'm gay". I fucking said it, and I didn't think about it until afterwards. And I remember saying to Keilah that evening before I got off the train. "I really want a rainbow flag patch now." (to put on my bag)
3 Comments:
lol, it almost sounds like you were so caught up in denying that you were dating Keilah that you spoke your thoughts out loud... not bad, not bad at all...
Um... one, i think. I don't actively check. and you have two belts, so now we both know...
those people were really annoying. And stupidly amusing at the same time. I mean, do they think that by asking the same question ten times they'll somehow get a different answer? Although they might think they have superpowers like josh and jeff and can actually make people go out by saying that they are going out enough times...
I was really proud of you. And I noticed it when you said it. *hug* If I ever find you a raibow badge, I'll give it to you... but i'm not going out of my way to look for one. And of course I'll get two if I find any, lol...
*sigh* may ninth. and now it's may thirteenth. *sigh* okay, random person who you can't possibly know the identity of is going to stop whining and leave...
Just for the record, I did read this post on the day you posted it. And didn't feel motivated to comment or tell you that I'd read it. Mostly because I've heard the story before. belts are a funny idea: squish a person so their pants stay up. I've never used a belt before, I guess I don't like the idea of it. Actually I did once when i was in elementary and found a plastic purple one with quickly got lost.
My mind is ruined, everytime i think of rainbows I think of either hippies (but only because we were talking about them yesterday in the t-shirt enterprise), Wizard of Oz (but not very often - Somewhere over the rainbow), but mostly think about physics and prisms and all the wavelengths.
I did 2 periods of physics voluntarily on friday without blinking...There's something wrong with me..help...No actually I'm serious...HELP!!! I can't really live life walking around thinking stupid things constantly or or or...i don't know... there's more to life than that..but ohh....
I have this odd idea it's okay to tell strangers things. It reminds me of a girl in Oyster. Strangers seem trustable, just . just because.
I can't write hum today. But I have to.
Post a Comment
<< Home